Muses of Murari

Today, I was consumed in a thought deeply. Not once, but multiple times. The reason is, I will be home alone for the next seven months! When I thought about it, all others thoughts simply disappeared and a dreaded silence of my place descended on me. It was scary! Next moment, I try to divert to other things to escape the empty silence. This happened for quite a number of times. More I resist & divert consciously, more the intensity of silence I experience next time.

I don’t know how this little thought going to affect me in coming days. But, I resolved to face it and overcome it. I know, one way of doing it put my full focus & energy on my goals and work towards them. This might look like a diversion. In a way it is. You avoid sucking in & convert into productive efforts. For a while it would seems like things are fine. But after some time any random event can trigger that pulls back this thought and puts back on play mode in your mind. Then you get sucked in completely and you will be lost. So diversion in this case, is just procrastinating the empty silence.

What if I live through those times of empty silences? What if I find a way to accept & not resist those empty silences? If I do accept & live through those periods, won’t the intensity & frequency of them reduce? And finally die down forever?  Internal battle won! Well, many possibilities.

Time would tell whether I went through it right or buckled in.

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